Stupid Drone Wars

Work In Progress, Currently seeking literary representation.

STUPID DRONE WARS is an 81,000 word speculative novel with the humor of Starship Grifters by Robert Kroese and the whimsy of Space Oddity by Catherynne M. Valente. It would appeal to fans of Douglas Adams and Kurt Vonnegut.

Nikola is a physicist with autism and OCD who wishes he could spend his time thinking about grand theories, but his 11-foot-tall robot supervisor is constantly nagging him to produce profitable inventions. He can’t stand society in the year 2125 where two tyrannical megacorporations, Facetwit and Googazon, dominate all aspects of life and everything comes with a price tag, even feeding pigeons. Whichever way he turns, his overly delicate senses are assaulted by commercials, on buildings, walls, even cats and dogs. He dreams of earning a promotion so he can escape the constant pressure to make money. His big chance comes when he discovers new subatomic particles with bizarre properties－karma particles.

The two corporations are constantly watching, have armies of robots enforcing their rules, and are creeping towards total dictatorship. As they take turns striking out at each other, the public suffers from the resulting shortages of spoons and underwear, traffic lights that never turn green, and commercials blasted at deafening volumes.

Nik and his physicist friend, brilliant but messy Valuptua, reach their breaking point when the boss lowers their pay rate. He is afraid to speak out, but she fearlessly sneaks onto the CEO’s private island to exact revenge, before getting caught and sent away for re-education.

Nik temporarily gets his boss off his back by inventing a drone that gives wedgies, but eventually he will have to find the courage to disobey. Val joins the underground, where she learns to control the fire inside her. In order to escape a life of servitude they will have to battle millions of killer drones such as flying circular sawblades that slice off robots’ heads and a gargantuan ox-bot that crushes whole city blocks with a single stomp of its hoof.